not today, not in my house
Not gonna lie this morning was rough. It has not been the first or the ugliest. But the defeat of reliving the same struggle has gotten me a bit discouraged. I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day! Instead of trying to change the events though I am running to God's UNCHANGING TRUTHS.
I typically don't air my "dirty laundry" on social media. NO I am not a poser of the pretty & perfect life. I would welcome you into a daily dose of the #fryfails anytime. And anyone who walks life with me knows - I am REAL {a bit too raw at times}. SO to my posse of friends -THANK YOU for shouldering our dirt with us. BUT with Easter on my mind and all the events to be remembered & celebrated my soul longs for VICTORY!
Daily we watch a child of ours live in darkness {not physically but spiritually}. Choosing to live in lies and deceit rather then LIGHT and truth. Walls of anger surround her heart and insecurity cripples her. No matter the opportunities of freedom that surround her she straps on the chains. The chains of Satan's lies -- "You are not deserving" "You are not worth it" "Trust no one, they might leave" and the list goes on ...
Then enters imperfect mom weary of the behavior that feels like an assault on me. Bearing my own struggles with sin, distrust and anger I attempt to slap some duct tape on the situation by tossing out consequences to her actions when the very foundation of her heart needs restoration. And so does mine.
So I preach a mini sermon on the way to school about what Jesus overcame for us to live victorious, I mean that is what we celebrate this weekend right? Through the empty tomb Jesus said ...
DEATH I own you and HE ROSE.
Through HIS life HE said ...
SIN not today, not in my house!
He offers all that HOPE to you and me. I am thankful God gives me glimpses of how when I strap on the chains of Satan's lies it causes HIS heart to ache and He longs for me to choose FREEDOM. His victory is mine. I pray for our children and others to live as victors not victims but this afternoon God needed to sit this momma down and preach it to her heart -- LEAH, tell Satan NOT TODAY, NOT IN MY HOUSE and claim it everyday til HE comes...
haven [noun] a place of safety and refuge
this is where our family gathers. life unwinds here and we regroup. countless conversations. hard conversations are hammered out under this roof. while this is just the setting for safety and refuge, an earthly "haven". God is our true "REFUGE and STRENGTH, a very present HELP in trouble." -psalm 46. i am thankful for the late night chats and early morning pep talks as we walk alongside our children thru life's hardship, challenges, disappointments and victories. our walls are littered with sentimental remnants of God's faithfulness, trinkets old and new that speak to the anchoring promises of God. we are thankful for our earthly "haven" but it will not hold our feet secure in the waves of life. so we daily are asking God to grow the desire to run to JESUS. may our short time under this roof while the quiver is full point each arrow to HIM and the hope of our eternal haven ….
anchored. steadfast. beloved
i love me a visual. tell me something and it might go in one ear and out the other. but a picture, i can understand that. they say it is worth 1000 words. agreed.
after 41 years of failures and findings of my faith. Gods Word and His Spirit have etched truths deep in my soul. i breathe in the Word of God daily but even then
i still stumble and fall. my heart needed a visual testifying to the truths so that i can hold fast as i battle satan daily. life is war. i need all the help i can get.
truth all around me and the power of Jesus in me. you may not agree with tattoos, i respect that. i am in no way trying advocate or encourage rather just share
what led me to this place.
i am a wife and mother of 6 it may strike some of you as odd or you may think "leah is having a mid-life crisis" well i can assure you i am not.
you see when i read Revelation 19.16 about Jesus returning on a white horse and "on HIS robe and on HIS thigh He has this name written:
KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS." i get charged up about that visual, did you read that? JESUS has written on HIS thigh…not a sign above him like that on
the cross mocking who he is but this time He is coming with His TRUE NAME etched on his thigh.
so my desire in the tattoos i have chosen is to declare truth.
the TRUTH about who Jesus says i am -- HIS "beloved". the bride of Christ and dually i am the beloved bride of Ryan Fry. {Hosea 1-14 & Song of Songs 6.3}
the TRUTH of THE ANCHOR who gives me HOPE and it is found ONLY in Jesus {Hebrews 6.19}.
the TRUTH that HIS "steadfast love endures" and i desire to give Him thanks {Psalm 136}
my prayer is to overcome the battles satan wages in my mind with the visual reminders of TRUTH.
anchored. steadfast. beloved.
on back to school eve...
the lunches are packed. teeth brushed. anticipation high. hearts filled with mixed emotions. we are a family. we find comfort in the safety of each other. summer has brought its mountain top highs and valleys low. but a constant remains "circus stick together" as we say. tomorrow change will take place. our time together will be seasonally interrupted with school.
Tay will dominate 4year old pre-school. Vea starts Kindergarten. Nay begins 3rd grade. Gage enters Jr. High and Mack is almost half-way done with High School. Shay will of course boss me around at home meanwhile. my prayer tonight is that this year we lay yet another layer of FIRM foundation into their hearts. we are preparing them for life. not a life lived for self but for the one TRUE life giver. JESUS. school provides opportunity for interaction with friends some good, some not so good. their spirit will be tested with perseverance, discipline and obedience. school is not easy. it shouldn't be. life is not easy. a life lived for JESUS is not easy but like our family one constant will remain. JESUS. He is the same yesterday, today and forever {Hebrews 13} and SO we wake tomorrow with confidence amidst change.
"baby girl"
that smile. i can’t take it, every time i see it i just wanna stop and soak it all in. not missing a moment. scrap all the “to-do” and just sit and “coo”. pardon me if i don’t answer the phone, return your text, or answer your e-mail within the hour.... i just don’t want to miss the moments.